When Whitney Houston died this past weekend, I was shocked by the amount of grief and the wave of emotions I experienced. In disbelief, I watched myself undergo the five stages of grief for someone I had never met and did not know intimately. You see, I am not the type who feels personally invested in celebrities. In fact, I abhor our increasingly celebrity obsessed culture and often wish that we would lay off the blind adulation just a tidbit.
Still, I knew that Whitney Houston’s voice and songs had always touched me in a special way. I can vividly recall the countless times when I used her voice to get me out of a funk, to inspire me, to soothe me or to just help me be still. I have been in love with her voice since I was a teenager and have bought any music she put out. I did not care what people said about her. I rooted for her at every performance and every television appearance. I am not alone. The whole world recognized her gift.
Yet, I just was not prepared to grieve her loss the way I have. For the first few days since her death was announced, I couldn’t hear her voice, listen to her music without bursting into tears. I am talking about the sort of uncontrollable and ugly crying that comes from deep within.
Again, this is not like me. If you know me, you probably know that I do not like to cry or get emotional. I get angry. I get sarcastic. However, you will rarely see me cry. Crying in this situation was even more puzzling to me.
It remained so until I had a moment of clarity and understood why Whitney’s death hit me so close to home. It happened Tuesday morning, as I burst into tears, again, at hearing the details her death. That morning, driving while intermittently wiping my eyes and sobbing (yes, really), it became clear to me that in mourning Whitney, I was mourning the little black girl inside of me as well as the millions of little black girls who struggle against the challenges of this world.
If you read the testimonies from the millions of Whitney Houston’s fans, you will hear a dominant narrative from many black women of my generation. Whitney Houston represented them on some level. She showed them that, they too, could achieve the heights to which they aspired. The fact that she was black, wore her hair short, long, curly or straight, and exuded a priceless type of confidence, just made us connect to her in a way that few others had.
For me, Whitney Houston’s image was never perfect. I know that’s the way she was perceived for a while, but if you looked deep down you could always see a strain of stubbornness and sass that was all her own. And that sass and stubbornness is, to me, what made her relatable. When she performed, it was clear that she was aware of her awesome power. I loved the way her lips curled into a small smile at the end of a performance after she’d nailed a perfect note. Go back and watch her performance at the 1991 Super Bowl, her singing the “Greatest love of all” to Muhammad Ali for his birthday, or, even her playful renditions of “I wanna dance with somebody”. From early on, it was clear that she knew she had a gift and that she could deliver.
In a world where black girls are always getting torn apart and demeaned, I loved that image. I knew many Whitneys growing up: girls who were just breathtakingly beautiful and charismatic. I also witnessed many instances where the rest of the world made a point to rob these girls of their beauty and shine. Whether it be in Haiti as a small child or in the Brooklyn housing project where I lived in my adolescence, I could smell the vultures swirling around these girls the minute they started to bloom. In college, my heart ached every time I came home to visit and noticed one of the girls I admired so much looking beaten and dejected.
Whitney for me was a defiant image to these vultures. Even though it was clear that she spent much of her adult life struggling against the trappings of similar, more glorified vultures, to me she still represented someone who tried to pave a way despite society’s labels, someone who was fighting and struggling against insurmountable challenges in spite of fame and fortune. For me, just like the young girls in my neighborhood, these characteristics placed her inch closer to my heart.
When she passed on, I think it gave me the permission to mourn in a way that I had not done before. I have spent all of my life aware of the pitfalls of being a black woman in this world. I would not change it for the world. I love who I am. Being a black woman, I learned very early, means that I have to work ten times harder and to be ready to fight. And, oh, do we have to fight! We have to fight for many things, the most important being the right to be ourselves and to determine our fate.
We fight against society. We also fight against those closest to us: those whose own oppressions cause them to replicate the same against us. We have many open wounds. Wounds that can be traced from slavery and colonization. Wounds to which most of us cannot tend because we are so busy fighting.
I learned many lessons on how to fight watching black women negotiate their lives while I was growing up. I have also seen many instances of this tough world overtaking the lives of black girls and women. Each time results in an immense sense of loss and of powerlessness against which we have to exert Herculean efforts in order to be able to go on.
Whitney Houston always reminded me of our power despite it all. She reminded me of these beautiful girls with which I grew up. With her addiction, I relived the familiar fear that came with watching vultures try to peddle drugs and other things to us. I knew then, at 12, 13, 14, 15 years old, that I did not have a magic protection against their tricks. The best I could do was to try to stay away.
Yet, I understood why other girls might have gotten attracted to them. You get tired of fighting. Sometimes, you just want to put your weapons down and forget. That feeling (that these girls were just like me, give or take one or two options) always made me feel connected to them. I always knew that “but for the grace of God…”
The fact is that addiction is a disease that can overpower any one at any time. The fact that some manage to kick the habit, and some don’t, has to do with much more than will power. Every one’s brain is different in the way they react to a potentially addictive product. So, no, I never felt special that, somehow, I avoided the pitfalls of drugs. I always felt grateful that the Universe gave me an avenue that took me away from that direction. That, when I got tired of fighting, the temptation was removed until I could cognitively understand that this was not the path I wanted.
This is why I am peeved at people looking down at Whitney for falling into drugs like a princess who has fallen off her throne. For a long time, mainstream media acted like she betrayed them. So, they punished her by taunting her mistakes as often as they could. To them she became one of the many stereotypes they associate with black women. They treated her as such, completely ignoring the realities of addiction and never seeing her as a full person.
This is why I think I am mourning Whitney so vividly. Her invisibility despite all of her fame and fortune mirror the lives of so many black girls and women suffering from addiction. Her obvious struggles resonate as the types of universal struggles so many of us undergo in one shape or form. We were simply luckier than many other women in escaping the dark sides of those struggles.
Whitney, like so many girls before her, was not. With her I mourn these invisible girls and women. With her death, I realized this week, I finally gave myself permission to mourn the little girl in me who had to learn to fight too early and did not experience the feeling of being cherished and loved as long as little girls and boys should.
In the end, Whitney’s voice, the conviction and soulful way in which she sang, gave us an enduring gift. Like it did for my generation, her message and her voice will continue to give new generations the energy, inspiration and rejuvenation they need to keep fighting the good fight. I am sorry that we were not deliberate in showing Whitney that we loved her while she was still with us. Hopefully, her story and music will help create a path to healing for millions of other black girls and women. Travel well, Whitney. You will have to fight no more.
AWESOME and really got to the heart of it!!!
Michelle, thanks for the language I needed to handle this death and an understanding of why I was in such emotional pain from a Sister ‘s death who I did not know personally. i release you Whitney, I will always Love You. Claudette Redic
Claudette,
You have uttered what has been in my heart as well and I thank you for doing so.
Sandra
Amen.
I almost feel you read my mind in what was expressed and what you felt, also the struggles, pitfalls & “mind fields” you did not become a victim of. Also, the love you have for others, especially young girls of color. I will direct readers to this great post when I express the pain & love I feel for this Powerful Princess that our generation lost and may all young women of all colors learn something from her struggles and your sincere honest words.
-john
Although this made me cry….YET AGAIN! It was a cathartic cry. Thank you for this. It gets easier and easier to process every time I read a piece like yours. ❤
We really move a long way down the road of achieving deep self-love, when we can cry for the little girl in us—when we acknowledge what she went through, and still survived. I wonder if Whitney ever reached that point. Because I believe that we are spiritual beings living a physical existence, I believe that Whitney’s spirit is rejoicing in the love. Thank you, Michele, for an extraordinarily beautiful piece.
Beautifully said, Michele. You absolutely deserve to be featured as Freshly Pressed for this– this is the type of personal journalism I wish was more prevalent. You dare to reveal an essential key of your identity– but place it in a context that’s relevant on a large sociological scale, with sharp insight. Thank you for being vulnerable in a powerful way, and standing up for Whitney. I agree that she exuded beauty precisely *because* she was aware of her gift. She was a woman unafraid to enjoy her physical beauty, her talent, and her skill at engaging an audience. Her poise, like you said– that little smile when she nailed it– that was what I will miss the most about her.
What a beautiful post and you really made me think. Wonderfully written. Thanks for writing this.
This piece really says it all and with great eloquence.
really it was very lovely and heart touching. thanks for such a nice post.
I really liked you post..
A great article. I can’t say that I know what you are feeling, but I for some reason i really empathise with it. Maybe it’s my own struggles as a gay man against our own vultures, though the seem to be a mirror of those to who you refer. Thanks again.
This post was truly moving and brought me to tears. I can relate to your feelings. There are so many of us that struggle with certain demons. Instead of getting the help we need, we are ridiculed. It’s very unfortunate. I am saddened by yet another death. Being a Newark native myself, I have seen these situations too often. It is hard fighting to prove the statistics and stereotypes wrong and to live up to the expectations of family and loved ones. I pray God will continue to give me the strength.
Thank you for sharing this.
Michele has composed an elegy on the popular singer Whitney and every sentence is steeped in sincerity and soul-stirring feelings. Though the picture that she has drawn about the interminable struggle black women had to wage at every stage and more tortuously by those who had slipped into drug or substance abuse is moving, it has raised cognate issues such as how to lead a life that is not polluted by inimical forces in society and stay serene in the face of provocation. The vultures and owls always abound wherever one lives and it is upto us to brace ourselves to stay steady by simple living and high thinking to cross the short span of life we have all been given without much harm to our physique or to the psyche for that matter. The best homage one could pay to the melody queen of the West is to derive solace from her mellifluous voice that could never erase her from our midst though her memories with warts and all would definitely fade by degrees.
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Hi Michele, thank you so much for writing this. I didn’t cry at the news of Whitney’s death, but I cried a bit reading your piece, because I think it made me understand the feelings I thought were misplaced or just silly and had been trying to suppress. The feeling of losing ‘one of our own’ is very strong, and I think most little black girls who have grown up from the 80s to today will relate where Whitney Houston is concerned. Someone I know (white and male, just for context) commented the other day along the lines of ‘Poor Whitney, what a loss for music and the world’ and I agreed with him, but in my head was this voice shouting ‘You just don’t understand!’ I was a bit puzzled at this, but after reading your reactions, thought and feelings, I think I begin to understand where that voice may have come from, and that perhaps I’m not the only one who hears it. So thank you.
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What a jerk bot peddling some junk-filled, virus-laden site on a thread meant to praise a writer for her post and a woman who was an extraordinary talent.
This was a beautifully written piece on a WordPress Blog. The emotions rendered are in no partiular color or race, but within the spirit of all of us. Thank you for sharing.
Beautifully written. You’ve shared your feelings so coherently, thank you for a great post.
I love how much thought and heart went into this post.
You, Michele, sound just as incredible as Whitney was. Thank you for sharing with us a piece of yourself.
Thanks for this. The shock to me was how little we know about the struggles and how blinded we become by the fame and money and outer beauty.
And as always : how hard us “normal” beings try to be like those we admire…only to miss how lucky we often are in the simplest of lives.
Awesome reply to Michele’s post on Whitney Houston. I’m sure she will appreciate your thoughts. You sound very kind hearted.
Nice one – I respect you for it asI’m sure you respected Whitney for her convictions… Good post.
Michele, thank you for accomplishing what I hoped to in my post about Whitney. I agree with Paulette. To cry for the little girl in us, is to heal her into a woman. I am overdue for a conversation with myself.
Maybe someday there will be another voice like Whitney Houston’s incredibly gifted one, but right now, there is no one that can even come close to her when she was at her zenith.
Your post is very touching – and true.
“We fight against society. We also fight against those closest to us: those whose own oppressions cause them to replicate the same against us. We have many open wounds. Wounds that can be traced from slavery and colonization. Wounds to which most of us cannot tend because we are so busy fighting.”
I read once that of all the subgroups, black women are the most downtrodden and discriminated against. I have seen it for myself as well.
Only Whitney would be able to say how and why she became addicted to drugs. At one time I felt that Bobby Brown was the start of her downfall, but ultimately, we have to own our actions. There had to have been a point where she knowingly made the choice for or against drugs and she chose addiction.
Rest in peace Songbird.
Lovely post. In the church I attend, we were all shocked by Whitney’s death. She was a lovely person and your post explains why. Thank you.
addiction effects everyone……
I felt sad hearing about Whitney. To me the loss of a great talent and the ending of a life in such a needless way is beyond sad. I cried along with my sister when we talked over the phone about the life now handed over to Bobby her daughter. I hope those who truly did love Whitney surround her daughter Bobby with the care she will need.
Heartfelt and inspirational! Bless you for sharing so eloquently!
She’s dead because she was an addict. Not because she was black. Typical feminine victim nonsense. And to think WordPress actually put you as a recommendation.
What a joke.
Whitney is dead. She had it coming. Her fans let it happen. Big deal. People who aren’t famous die every day, but no one cares about them.
You shallow, stupid idiot! Why are you so angry with the content of this blog? Too bad for you that no one will write a post about you after YOU kick the bucket!
“Shallow, stupid idiot.”
Interesting talk coming from a guy that has Keith Olbermann as his gravatar.
Your anger changes nothing. Whitney is still dead and your online bravado accomplished nothing. Now run along before your feelings get hurt.
Friends, family, maybe some colleagues. do care about the not-famous who die every day. It’s just that most of them/us don’t get all the news coverage because, guess what, nobody knows or cares who we are. Why should they?
For someone calling this “victim nonsense,” you sure sound pretty victim-y yourself. It’s hard not to have an angry response to a comment like yours because its nastiness brings out the nastiness in me, yet has to be rooted in something sad. The equally nasty part of me wants to smack your lights out. The better part wishes that you’ll get help for whatever it is that ails you.
Sarah D,
Thank you for the backhanded wishes of goodwill.
Hugs and Kisses!
I feel bad she died. But I got to agree with this guy, I scrolled through the comments until I found someone with the balls to bring it up.
I don’t feel bad she was an addict, she had noone to blame but herself for that, and neither does anyone else.
And to Cygnus Jim, your comment just proved his point even more.
Culinarian, we all have it coming, at one point or another…
The above text is not about Whitney’s death, it’s about her life. It is less about justifying her addiction; and more about the challanges she faced. Even though I hate to admit you are right about not many caring, there are still those who do care – for those who are alive and kicking those challanges. Our worlds really are in our minds, so hope your sun will shine on the difference between a grave inequity and nonsense…
Force and joy to those alive and peace to Whitney.
Go, girls, go…..what ever tone your skin is.
We all have little girls inside – longing to be loved, not pushed or pulled. Just be who we are. Accepted as the humanbeing we are – with ever weakness we have.
We are perfect as we are – perfect in our imperfection.
Thank you for such a wonderful and moving post.
Yes, I agree her struggle was a tragedy and we must recognize this as much as the people around us who also struggle with this kind of problem. Sometimes this kind issue can be some one crying out for help and we wont even notice. People rather judge and point fingers rather then recognize someones moments of weakness. I’m sure there are some people who used to criticize her a lot that now regret doing so since her passing and i am sure bobby brown is one of them -,o
I made a tribute video in case anyone is curious at
http://www.alltheeabove.wordpress.com
you said, “in a world where black girls are torn apart and demeaned…”
really? can you give me some examples? are you talking in the news? social media? film or television shows? where are you seeing black girls/women torn apart and demeaned? i don’t see it. not saying it’s not happening. just saying i don’t see it.
Your post confirms to me that to you, black girls are so invisible to that you can’t even pretend to understand what she posted.
why would i pretend to understand? how about this – you explain it. how about that? can you?
maybe in a way you’re right. “black” girls are invisible to me. i don’t see black girls. i see girls. i don’t see white girls. i see girls. and before you try to call me racist, i had the same reaction to the death of amy winehouse. another drug user who brought on her own death. of course, amy’s work was not even 2% of whitney’s art, that’s for sure. i’ve been teaching for 6 years in a school that is 49% black, 49% hispanic, and 2% white. if i were racist, i wouldn’t be working there.
What a great post!!!!! Love it!!!!
Wow- thank you for putting into words everything I’ve been feeling this week. Like you, I’m caught off guard and perplexed as to why Whitney’s death has impacted me so very deeply, as if she was my personal girlfriend, sister or cousin. And the same for so many of my friends. You nailed it. I will save this post in my journal so as not to forget the deeper meaning years after the sadness of today, her homegoing, has faded. Be blessed.
I felt the same way Karen. I had to sit down and really look at why her death was causing such a deep mourning in me. Where are all the tears coming from? Yes, I loved her music, but there had to be much more to it than that. I came to realize her life and struggle touched on the human spirit’s desire to be the light it was meant to be. When we are dimmed (even at or own doing), we long to be more. I wanted her to win. I needed her to overcome and be that bright light again. Just as I need it for me and want it for all of you…white, black, male and female.
Thank you for a well written piece.
Beautiful post; yet for some reason, I can’t cry for her. I don’t know her. I feel sad for her and her family. I simply realize, she’s the consumate artist–feeling, delicate and brooding. Kid Cudi is a perfect example; and artists typically find three types of outlets for their pain or to express their demons: drugs, alcohol, and/or their art.. She was lucky in that she had the opportunity to create something beautiful from all the turmoil she experienced before she went home.
Congratulations for being freshly pressed. You absolutely deserve it. Where oh where are individuals who write like you have. Thank you.
Thank you for making Whitney human. So many have seen her as just a music icon, or on the flip side, fodder for the tabloids. You have shown here how we are all connected. And when one of us hurts, we all hurt. Truly a part of Whitney lives in all of us, no matter the gender or color. We just have to dig deep enough and acknowledge it. Awesome post!
[…] died. I wasn’t really sure why that was until this morning when I read a very moving post by Michele Alexandre. She helped me connect with more than the passing of a former megastar. She helped me realize […]
Beautiful post, Michele. Your words really resonated with me… so much so that after reading it I wrote a brief post and linked back to yours.
http://hurthelpheal.com/2012/02/18/whitney-houston-mourning-more-than-the-loss-of-a-star/
Thought provoking and well written blog post!
Wow. Very touching, and profound.
Addiction is not a disease. It’s an addiction! Bad choices lead to bad consequences…And it doesn’t matter what color your skin is.
zzzactly
Have you had an addiction? No, probably not!
I was addicted to smoking, for 20 years, It wasn’t anyone fault but my own. I smoked until the day I decided to quit, and now I don’t smoke anymore.
I didn’t take any pills or get a shot to cure my “disease” calling it a disease is just an excuse for not doing something about it
Addiction is a disease. When someone starts using a substance such as alcohol, crack, marijuana (yes, marijuana), meth, and the various other substances it alters their body’s chemistry. These are substances that should not be in your system, your body adapts to them or attacks itself. It becomes a disease and no longer the person’s choice as the chemistry has been changed and not the way it should be causing many type of illnesses related to the substance. In reading some of these comments, it is apparent that either the person has never been addicted to any substance, related to someone with an addiction, or done even basic research on addiction. It is these types of comments that make users feel even worse and does not encourage them to quit but makes them want to escape again. The lack of empathy and care is not the way to help someone get through an addiction.
Great post, btw.
Actually, addiction is a disease. But what would you know?
This is a beautiful post about a beautiful person. Thank you!
Reblogged this on Kiara Lane.
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This is so, so beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing this. People really need to open their eyes to this kind of stuff.
I wrote a post recently explaining how cocaine changes the actual functioning of the brain and how addiction is a disease, just as you pointed out. It was in response to a comment some ignorant fool made in response to an article about Whitney’s death, basically putting her down as a “crack ho,” and another commenter who argued that she could have stopped using drugs at any point during all the years she was using. It just made me so disgusted and angry that people just have no idea what addiction is truly about.
Anyways, that’s my rant. I just wanted to say really that your post really touched me and I think you sound like a very strong woman who, like Whitney, can be a great role model for other black women.
– Cafe ❤
cancer is a disease. you don’t ask for cancer.
cocaine addition is not a disease.
you ask for cocaine. you invite the addiction.
You’ve never been addicted to drugs, am I correct? You definitely sound like someone who has no real idea of what cocaine addiction is like.
You may not ask for cancer, but many people do things that can lead to them to developing cancer, such as not eating properly, getting too much sun exposure, etc. Would you deny that? So once they develop cancer, should we tell them, well, shit, you shouldn’t have done x, y and z or you wouldn’t be in the place you are in now, would you? I somehow doubt that you would.
Maybe you should actually learn about how cocaine addiction works on the brain first and then think about the double standard you’re making before you make these kind of comments.
Cafe23 Cancer is a disease and people beat it. There are very very few famous people in the world and many of them fall to some type of substance abuse because they are human beings with insecurities, problems, issues just like us. Once a person is famous their weaknesses are exaggerated and made public, they are expected to to feel and act as if nothing bothers them or affects them. The path of fame and fortune is the hardest path for humans on earth.
Whitney was a brave woman, she had an enormous gift, but she was human, she never felt she was good enough to deserve what life was offering her. She wasn’t prepared for a reality that does not accept human weakness.
yes. was very brave of her to hide from her problems by using drugs. was very brave of her to kill herself and leave her daughter with that skunk of a husband. very, very brave.
Cancer may be a physical disease but drug addiction is a mental disease that can be in some cases such as severe alochol and heroin addiction that a person can become physically dependent on the drug. We just do not understand mental diseases from drug dependency to other mental illnesses such as Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder.
As far a Whitney, I really do think she tried to beat it as far as addiction but two things that brought her down: First, she really needed to take grips of what her disease was doing. She couldn’t be a diva. Second, I really don’t think she really concentrated on the why. Every person who has had a addiction has always had a why as to why they want the drugs to numb them out such as childhood abuse. . If the addict never addresses the why then they will never meet true recovery.
Buy, still we are going on pure speculation until the coroner report is made public and we still might know why after that.
drug addiction is not a mental disease. it is a mental condition brought upon by using drugs. using those drugs was her choice. nobody chooses a disease.
Whitney took a huge risk to go out in the world and present herself as the person and woman that she was. Her talent was undeniable. She was one of a kind. She was made a star for the enjoyment of the public, she was not made to be a wife or a mother, a very difficult task for a woman with that level of fame. Have you ever heard the saying, you can have it all but not at the same time. In life we need to make choices. If you don’t think that woman had guts for going after dreams and finding out how far she could take it as a singer, please go to youtube and listen to Clive Davis.
Every time you put fake foods and the wrong fats in your mouth you are asking for cancer. Cancer and heart disease are caused by what people choose to put in their mouth. Please go on youtube and watch The Last Heart Attack with president Clinton.
mayra – you cannot seriously compare cancer and drug addiction.
No in the world you live in it is impossible to beat cancer or drug addiction. In my world impossible is nothing, the word itself says I’M POSSIBLE!!!!!
You are right. Unless Cafe 23 is a doctor, I think she should shut it and stop being so PC. Whitney chose to do drugs and drink herself silly her final week in LA, Many people beat the addiction they invited. That’s why it’s better to avoid that stuff altogether.
As far as abusive childhoods, many people were abused as children and don’t they become addicts. As far as I read, Whitney was loved as a child, so as far as her demise, Whitney bears most if not all of the blame.
well done. said. written.
really myra? so let’s apply that philosophy elsewhere. impolite means “i’m polite”? immobile means “i’m mobile”? is that the best you can come up with? sorry, but just having the desire to win does not mean you can or will win against cancer or anything else. yes, it’s better to be positive than negative, but that is not enough to win, to beat cancer, drug addiction, etc. your thought makes a nice t-shirt, but it’s not adequate for debate.
I agree addiction is a disease! I can guarantee rmy has never had an addiction & know what it does to you. People may choose to try it but they don’t choose to keep doing it! You will never know what addiction is like, until you’ve be addicted!
why why why do so many people think that it is a GOOD thing to know what an addiction is like? i do not know, and i’m proud that i do not know. however, here is what i DO know – nobody pushes you through that door. nobody made you (not your personally) take whatever substance it is to which you became addicted. you have to choose it. and you usually choose it at either a moment of weakness or pressure or both. you know what substances are addictive. you know the risk. you know what’s possible or even likely. your hand, your mind makes that choice. you are doing it willingly. you are taking that risk willingly. don’t blame “addiction” as if it is a person who locked you in a room and won’t let you out. you walked in. you knew it was possible. you asked for it.
You make some valid points concerning addiction and the media’s lack of compassion and ethics.
Howe,ever, we’ll have to agree to disagree when it comes to Whitney and her decisions or lack thereof. I can’t judge from the outside, but I’ve seen women in my own family just give up and party like there’s no tomorrow. Houston had a daughter who she clearly didn’t fight hard enough for.
If she had truly cared for her child, she would have turned her back on prescription drugs and alcohol. Who leaves rehab and spends the day drinking in a hotel bar?
A fallen angel, I guess.
Absolutely a fallen angel. It was all in her eyes.
zzactly
Thank you for writing this moving, soul baring and thought provoking post. You certainly deserve to be freshly pressed. Your post pays great respsect to Whitney and brings a light to her life and death that I had not considered before. It also brings light upon the plight of many unknown black girls and women, and speaks for all people. I haven’t cried for Whitney but I’m sad. I think she had more to give. I feel for her family too. I had never related to Whitney before and after reading this, I can. I think we all can if we are honest and open up our hearts and minds. Powerful writing does that. Thank you!
I do think its time the media just admitted her life wasn;t perfect and give her family some privay
Reblogged this on finnegan2749.
What a gift your heart is. I love everything you say, and I love you! I am so glad you shared your story here with others. Your tears an grief are beautiful and I’m sure Whitney would approve of the spirit coming alive, the spirit pouring out of you. Her death has moved you beyond sarcasm….her death has moved you and so many others out of the shadows to speak your truth. Peace and power and grace to you and all the other girls for whom Whitney fought this fight, and will continue to fight it.
Great story. I loved Whitney and her music. She will be missed. Her music was able to lift everyone but her. That is the most tragic piece of this story. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on grief and mourning.
Beautiful post. I too, have been struggling with this death. Whitney was tall and had this powerful voice, but she was thin –and a body can only take so much. Many great artists have died under the effects of past or present drug abuse, it does not negate their gift or accomplishments — Elvis, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, the list goes on. Whitney suffered from addiction, and when one is a celebrity that journey is completely different. I get that. But Whitney outsold Elvis. Elvis died on the toilet from drug use and people still flock to his home as a museum –as well they should — because of his accomplishments,and what he left us. Whitney should get the same.
I think Whitney’s death hit me so hard because it reminds me also of how delicate life can be. She was on her way out that night with her colleagues in the industry– but her body couldn’t take any more. Had she not been alone in the bathroom, had she not been in a tub, had she taken a shower instead — maybe paramedics could have gotten to her in time. But no, she was alone, and I’m assuming relaxing, and then she was gone. And I’m in no way a celebrity or an addict but I’m a musician and I wish I’d known Whitney. I really do. Let’s honor her best work. Let’s honor her. Nobody’s life is perfect. Many addicts have no accomplishments at all, sometimes that helps them to recover, ironically, because it allows them to hit rock bottom.
I’m a black woman, too. Whitney’s work helped to make us all mainstream, we could have the fairy tale dream, we could represent our country (National Anthem), we could be Cinderella (Brandy, produced by Whitney), we could break records set by Elvis and The Beatles, we could look good doing it — as a cover girl, and however controversial it turned out, we can marry and have a child, we can be beautiful and sexy without taking off our clothes for the camera. So regardless of the circumstances of Whitney’s passing, we still have that. We still have all that.
btw: I’m not watching the funeral. Can’t handle it.
the death of an abused child should remind you how delicate life can be. NOT the death of a drug addict.
Did you know that a very high proportion of people addicted to drugs have gone through child abuse? That kind of trauma is often an important reason why the person turns to drugs to numb the pain that nobody ever helped that child deal with or to understand. Funny how when the person is a child being abused, they’re a victim. But when they grow up to become addicted, their abuse has no more meaning, they’re just treated as completely worthless.
cafe23 – i hope you find this reply above you because it seems i can’t reply directly to your reply to me. i would like to point out your inconsistencies:
1. “Funny how when the person is a child being abused, they’re a victim. But when they grow up to become addicted, their abuse has no more meaning, they’re just treated as completely worthless.”
yes, because a child doesn’t choose to be abused. and the adult, who is using drugs is not being abused. the cocaine didn’t force its way into the addicts system. anyone who picks up cocaine is fully aware of the risk of addiction. that is the choice you make. that is the risk you take. case closed. and that was a very poor and silly analogy.
2.”You definitely sound like someone who has no real idea of what cocaine addiction is like.”
correct – and i am very proud of that. i’m proud that i never made the choice to use drugs, and i never ran the risk to get addicted. it seems as if you’re criticizing me for that.
3. “Maybe you should actually learn about how cocaine addiction works on the brain first and then think about the double standard you’re making before you make these kind of comments.”
i don’t know how cocaine addiction works. but i do know how to avoid it. don’t use it. i can get cancer without trying to get cancer. but i can’t get a cocaine addiction without trying it. to be addicted – use it. to avoid addiction – don’t use it. case closed.
Rmv stop injecting hate into the conversation. This ought to be a gathering of love amongst those capable of it. Haven’t you the wisdom to remain silent when you cannot contribute love? No one needs your ignorant hate. Despite your possible assumption to the contrary, it does not contribute.
sorry steve, but it’s not hate. it’s disagreement. disagreement is healthy. hate is not. show me one statement i made that contains “hate” and i will apologize. and i don’t mean the word “hate.” i mean anything angry or false or with the intent to injure.
good luck.
in response to rmv:
the death of an abused child should remind you how delicate life can be. NOT the death of a drug addict.
sorry steve, but it’s not hate. it’s disagreement. disagreement is healthy. hate is not. show me one statement i made that contains “hate” and i will apologize. and i don’t mean the word “hate.” i mean anything angry or false or with the intent to injure. good luck.
I won’t waste my time.
that’s what i thought.
Wow, that was beautifully written!
Here is the most moving obituary about Whitney Houston: http://andreasmoser.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/whitney-houston-1963-2012/
This is so relevant and so true. Thank you for sharing.
“Yet, I understood why other girls might have gotten attracted to (drugs). You get tired of fighting. Sometimes, you just want to put your weapons down and forget.”
That passage reflects a reality about addiction that is often unacknowledged.
What a beautiful thoughts. Thanks so much for putting this out there.
Well written, Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful. thank you for sharing.
I share some of the comments already posted. Still, I just wanna thank you for writing this article. Thank you, indeed.
Beautiful!
Your post really touched me….you truly identified “my little girl lost” so eloquently….words escape me except thank you sooo much!
Sobering, truthful, touching, inspiring, empowering…………thank you for sharing your thoughts……Blessings!……..Kim
Hi Michelle,
Beautiful portrait of Whitney Houston.
What really broke my heart was to see the unraveling of her joy. We (men and women) need to defend our own voice, that light in our soul that connects us to who we really are, and to develop and encourage self esteem in ourselves and others
Learning to communicate, really communicate and ask for what you need in a respectful way should be taught at an early age. If our educational systems are unable to provide these services because of economic or time restraints, then we as a community need to organize in small groups and networks, and act as stewards for the next generation.
One way to promote healthy communication that builds self esteem is to practice Marshall Rosenberg’s “Non-violent Communication, a language for life” (especially if you are not lucky enough to have strong, positive role model in your life).
Her death makes me so sad, a woman of my own generation whose singing voice was the soundtrack to many happy moments in my life. Her death is a reminder that we need to encourage and build self esteem in our children. If you have time, read the article by Robert Reasoner on Self Esteem (NASE).
Such a moving piece. Thank you for sharing.
Very poiniant to say the least. made me think of the struggles I endured as a white girl growing up. The bad guys are always out there trying to change you. Make you dirty like them. I felt sorry for Whitney because I believe her fame brought out even more bad guys and she trusted one of them. I dont think race is the issue. I have had to fight my whole life just because Im different. God bless you for writing this and God Bless Whitney.
I know what you mean…when I saw the news on Yahoo I immediately started crying and still in disbelief and I’ve never met Whitney nor have I ever seen her in concert but I felt so so heartbroken. This is a wonderful post!
Young lady: You have a fantastic talent for expressing yourself with written words. I hope that you will be able to share this talent as well as Whitney shared hers.
I found your blog thought provoking and moving. I’m in London UK, I only watched highlights of Whitney’s funeral. She had a good send off. She also seemed to have a good life at times. Unfortunately, she was ‘out there’ as a famous person because of her talent, which made her ‘fair game’ as the British media would put it. There are many ordinary folk who have comments made about their lifestyles but if your famous the mud sticks for longer and can be picked up and thrown again, whenever the media want to make up column inches or fill a few minutes of air time. No-one is perfect and none of us should throw stones, we may not live in a house made of glass but the windows are usually made of the stuff so we should all be careful.
Love your reply!
Thank you so much for this post! I was raised with Whitney’s music and she was such an inspiration to me when I was a kid. A truly deep and moving post.
/Theresa
This was a very moving piece of writing. It just goes to show that there is only one race-the human race. It doesn’t matter what colour skin you have, you shouldn’t be judged on your ethnic background.
What you have pointed out for me here is a way of looking at Whitney Huston that I could not have had. I don’t fit the criteria. Without it I could not see her as something other than a celebrity. I could not have seen and appreciated her human side. Thank you for making my world bigger. Deservedly R.I.P. Whitney.
This is a beautifully written piece.
If you get the chance please have a look at my blog http://www.blackwomanwhitedress.com
I think we share a lot very similar ideas and beliefs.
Sudelicious
I thought recently that fame was something ‘normal people’ gave to others because there just weren’t enough interesting people in their own lives. Of course there are holes in that argument, but it’s awfully rare that a celebrity’s life impacts ‘us’ in such a way that we can take in the lessons from their life as examples, apply them, learn, and change something integral because of them.
We explore what we do not know often just to see what else is possible. While her life accomplished much in both positive and negative ways, now we can take her poster-status beyond celebrity and realize why it is we make examples of some people: fame is something given to those who, in their way, can teach us something valuable. As evidenced here, Whitney Houston has done that. With soul.
So well written. You certainly dove into a fear-shaking truth of many of us and of how cruel the world can be. I enjoyed reading it thoroughly.
I agree with the ” Hook ” she knew what was happening and should have stopped for her daughter, and what was her family trying to do to help her, it looks like very little.
Also, why do you state ” Black ” what about all the other people going through the drug thing.
Your latter point is my exact thought on the article. The writing seems to forget that addiction does not discriminate.
Great piece – enjoyed your words. Thanks for sharing!
This is really touching. I wish I could repost on my blog. I need your permission. Thanks for sharing.
The piece of this tragedy I do not understand is why young woman do not idolize and identify with realistic role models – there are so many successful business owners, teachers, mentors for girls today ! Its like giving up :” I’ll never be a success, so I’ll just dream I’m a pop star”. While we worship entertainers, decent parents are giving up and teens are killing themselves because they feel the weight of hopelessness and they go un-noticed.
We do not reach out to a classmate or neighbor, but based on performances we wish we could acheive, we grieve a stranger????
Whitney was a singer/ performer….we should be mourning the single moms working 2 jobs and struggle to do the right thing in the shadows of all the stars, athletes etc. that somehow we have decided are “better”.
I also find it hypocritical that society is crying and waling over her yet where was everyone’s love & concern the last few years when she clearly needed help & we treated her like fodder for the gossip papers & TV.
Your post was well written and thought out, and I hope it speaks to those who read it ….
Michele Alexandre,
You wrote beautifully and gave a good spin on a tragic topic. For any who struggle with or are interested in addiction and recovery, check out my blog at http://www.writingforrecovery.wordpress.com. It discusses long term sobriety and the initial steps one needs to take.
Thank you for your post,
Emily F.
Thanks for sharing this. Keep putting it out there and ignore those who want to squash your voice…
I started to hum the song, ” I will always love you”, then i started singing it quietly, soon enough i started to gasp and hold back the tears. I Hear her voice deep within my soul, as I have since I was a young girl, and as im sure many you did. ~Long Live the beautiful voice of a soul taken from us all to soon~
This is a very insightful article. Thanks so much for sharing.
I’d like to dialogue with you more about it.
Please contact me.
You can read more about me @ http://www.anjuellefloyd.com/about
Again, thanks so much for sharing.
Peace and blessings.
Great post! Thank you for sharing. What happened to Whitney is what happened to Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis and the list goes on. Human beings are not creatures of fame and fortune, they are first and foremost spiritual beings living a physical experience. We all come to this planet to experience a true connection with other human beings, to experience love, to create beautiful things together. Unfortunately all of this is ignored and taken for granted once a person becomes famous as if they are no longer in need or worthy of basic human needs such as love, respect, and forgiveness. The road to fame and fortune is very lonely, there’s really no one like you up there and the moment is so quick that it truly doesn’t feel like much. All you get is that one glimpse and that is all. You can’t stay there for very long but mind altering drugs keep you there until you no longer care whether you are here nor there.
When the world opens up to you people take a lot for granted, they can not only be friendly but overly friendly and expect an awful lot of you for very little. – Marilyn Monroe
Thank you for writing this for all invisible little black girls. No one could have said it better than you have. Bravo….
yeah just lay off the dope for good. And you will be fine
This was beautifully written! I have been saddened this past week by her death, and I barely even knew her music, but to me I saw such a lack of compassion for someone who was obviously hurting very deeply. Where is love and compassion these days? Why do we treat celebrities like they are not human? Her struggle is the same as others who have fallen into that trap, and it is a painful path to journey down.
I am not black and I have to say that I know there are a lot of vultures out there, but they are there waiting for young people no matter what their color of skin is. After High School I literally packed my stuff up and left the town, because everyone I knew was doing drugs. I am sure these kids were spending more on their drugs, but it was none the less destroying their lives. I guess depending on where you live they continue to haunt you (the vultures that is) past your youth.
Sj
I applaud this piece of professional journalism! Yes, Whitney was one of the beautiful people in this world, no matter what mainstream media tended to focus on and sensationalize. May ALL women in this world be inspired by your words!
Thank you for writing from your heart. Whitney touched us all with her life as well as her death. Yes, the world takes the innocent trusting little girl in each of us and knock her down again and again until with time we look back and mourn how innocent she was and wish she had not had to go through all she did. But in the end we have survived and are pro ud of whom she has become,
Much of my feelings on this are a lot like yours. Thanks for the awesome post.
I think that every girl in the world can relate to the mourning process of the challenges that come from trying to fit into this crazy world.
I was affected similarly by the death of Dale Earnhardt Sr. a decade ago. It was very unlike me as well. But I someohow felt and impending challenge due to the fact teh Creator needed such a grat person to be in total spirit.
Congrats on FP!
I too cried a river,identifying with Whitney for her love for God even in her struggles and darkest hours, she looked up to her Lord. Yes Jesus loves Whitney and set her free from this world.
I too found cried when it was said that even through her troubles she still looked up to her Lord Jesus. Yes she is now free.
This was a very deep heartfelt post. I think you expressed here what many are still feeling about her passing. For those of us (myself included) who ‘appear’ to be unemotional at times, this was like a checkpoint in life. Did you watch the funeral? I didn’t get a chance to but the comments from my friends on several social media sites confirm that a lot of people were/are experiencing similar feelings. From what I heard, the funeral was also a checkpoint in life for thousands of people. I guess that’s a part of what our individual lives are about: making a difference in other people’s lives through our life or death, whether famous or not. Again, profound post!!! Cheers. 🙂
It’s a sad loss. Her slide downhill has been painful to watch. If only we had been able to ease her pain and help her recover. I’ve had the same problem with my voice but my operation was a success. It can’t have been easy for her.
As a young woman I tried to emulate Whitney in my singing lessons (in a black music college) I am white but she made me believe that we could all achieve regardless of race; this is what I remember feeling at that time. We all watched her grow into a woman and with it came her addictions and pain. She spiralled into a big hole but came back periodically. In 2009 her outstanding album ‘I look to you’ said loud and clear ‘She was back’. It made my heartbreak at that time seem bearable, if she could crawl back from the depths of utter despair then so could I! Again, after all these years, Whitney made me believe I could achieve. It was her time to shine again and you could feel it and hear it from that 2009 album loud and clear but it seemed not many could and sales reflected that. ‘I look to you’ is up there with the finest,
Here we are today, the day of her funeral and a most gracious and moving occasion it was: filled with joy and hope.
She left us a film and more music to come which says to me it was a tragic accident that shouldn’t have happened and that she really was on her way back to where she belonged: on top.
It was not meant to be, however she has risen and with it a part of us goes with her. RIP Whitney Houston
Beautiful reply!
Thank you 🙂 a great loss but we have her music
This is an absolutely beautiful post. You really gave your heart and soul here and captured an increasing problem among our black women/girls beautifully. Like you I found myself becoming upset over Whitney, I also do not invest too much into celebraties, especially after working within the record industry for many years. Is it because she was born the same year as me? was it because she had the same birth date as my sister? I don’t know, but I know her funeral service was very difficult for me. I did not write as in depth as you did on my own blog about Whitney, but i personally thank you for baring what was in your heart and doing it for me. Thank you and God bless you for posting this today.
I totally identify with you. Whitney Houston was like a sister friend that you watched from afar and hope the best for. I watched prayerfully during her tumultous marriage and hoped that she would come back out on top.
She is like many black women who suffer from a lack of love from those closest to us. The men that we pledge our hearts to seem to not be able to love us the way we need. Not an indictment on her husband but our legacy from slavery has kept us from learning how to love and appreciate one another properly. So we tend to have dsyfunctional love relationships which result in broken hearts and broken relationships and many times broken or dsyfunctional homes…ending up with a cycle of dysfunction which replicates itself.
I understand she came from a broken home also. That’s alot of pain for someone with a loving free hearted spirit like hers. I can totally identify. And many times we turn to the wrong things to ease our pain food, drugs, illicit sex. Unfortunately she was not able to be reached in time with the healing love of Christ.
It made me wonder how we forget to enter the pain of those around us and be the healing hands, feet and words of Christ to our suffering sisters and brothers around us.
Her legacy will not be forgotten. I am always asking to see The Preacher’s
Wife my favorite all time movie of hers.
My prayer is that we would be more sensitive to others who suffer around us and not judge.
My prayer also goes out to her family especially Whitney’s mom and daughter Bobbie Christina that God will comfort them with the good memories and love of everyone around them who care about her dearly. That God will heal and comfort as only He can.
I believe she is resting in peace now. And I hope to see her in heaven one day and thank God for the gift of her music and her for giving so freely of herself that the world could enjoy her gift.
Whitney rest in peace!
Reblogged this on Black Angels NYC.
I just lost a 41-year old cousin to addiction. Thanks for your insight and compassion.
[…] A Piece of Us: To Whitney and the Millions of Invisible Black Girls and Women Who Struggle with Addi… […]
It is so easy to hate addiction and it is so hard to deal with a loveless life and it is even harder to cope with the loveless life and pains of childhood (and adulthood). Whitney stood tall and was brave enough to share her gift to the world. Commendable. Every death is a loss to life. Whitney will be remembered fondly and proudly by many. This is no small achievement.
Rest is peace dear artist.
Thank you Michelle for this heart felt post. Whitney may you rest in peace!
What a great tribute to Whitney Houston. If Whitney could see this now, she would be very pleased!
That was a beautifully moving piece about Whitney and the skewed perceptions and assumptions because of society’s obsession with celebrity and not empathy.
Reblogged this on Nana A Damoah and commented:
A moving write-up, thought-provoking.
suppab!!
Your post helped me to mourn. I kept on asking myself why I have been so obsessed with watching all the tributes and now I have gleaned some understanding…thank you.
Reblogged this on MyDestiny2011 and commented:
Appreciate Life, never give up…say NO to Drugs Please!
In her musical field, Whitney was given a talent above which there is probably no level. Truly, her “I Will Always Love You” is one rendition that billover70 has never, and perhaps wil never, be able to hear without a tightness of throat and a tear in the eye. It is hoped that her tragedy will open minds to the dangers of turning to behaviors that all the world knows tend toward destruction.
After half a century of working with young people and observing older folk ( including various races and individuals of the widest range of personal circumstances), bos is persuaded that those who wallow in the adversities of life will therein remain.
What a beautiful post! I couldn’t agree with you more on everything you wrote. Whitney was an inspiration to us all. I do wish people could have treated her better, and not looked at her different because of her struggles. It’s just ashame! Whitney will be missed by so many! We will always love you Whitney! RIP Baby!
I really enjoyed reading your article.
I agree that in today’s culture we are in some way becoming addicted to celebrity culture. I’m guilty of being blinded by the spotlight and love to know about who’s doing this and that and who.
I have a health,y obsession / admiration for Madonna and have followed her career from the age of six- 25 years ago. However, it wasn’t until I turned 12 that I realised why I was attracted to her. I realised that she was a strong woman who empowered people and made them feel good about who they where… for this reason I will remain a true fan who sees more than the controversy that clouds her career
Like Madonna, Whitney has empowered a number of people who have been, depending how you look at her career, more or less fortunate than her.
She is a legend, a legend who had to leave us too soon, but at the most we are left with fond memories of her music…. and these remixes!
http://jasontellsitlikeitis.com/2012/02/18/another-amazing-whitney-remix/
What a beautiful and personal tribute to Whitney. Sass and stubborness.. you said what I have been searching for all this week… she was not a singing barbie doll.. she was fierce!
The way I saw it yesterday,the ones that loved her all along ,got her back in the only way they could. I thought maybe her mom and church would win out in saying good bye in a way that she would have chose.
Wow, thanks so much for your perspective and for sharing, sending you love x
sam-sebe-stroitel http://stroydom.ixrad.ru !
An empathetic maturity is expressed in this post – lovely!
Hey Michele, you must be pretty stoked with a Fresh Pressing on your first post.
It was very deep and thoughtful (and well written) so thanks for sharing.
I must say initially I was annoyed at more hype for ‘another dead celebrity’, but admittedly I think Whitney was much more than that. Thinking back I realised how much I listened to her music and sang her tunes in the shower and admired her as a performer.
Its a shame she died, and she was still relatively young, I thought she was older because she seems to have been around forever!
Obviously she was a black american woman, but I think the fighting and struggle you talk of applies much more widely than just black women. It affects men, women, boys and girls from all over the globe, and all walks of life. Everywhere I’ve been, there is always evidence of damaged people repeating the cycle, lashing out and damaging others. You really wrote about that struggle with clarity tho, regardless how you experienced it.
Whitney was a phenomenal woman…and yes, she was remarkably human. Whitney more than paid her dues, and out-sang damn near anybody. More importantly, she had a certain grace and poise that is sorely lacking among many contemporary artists. Certainly, there’s the aspect of Whitney’s life that was drug addiction that some would like to focus on, more than others. It is the obvious elephant in the room; however, it isn’t the focal point here. So thank you for restoring the humanity and compassion to Whitney’s story. It was heartfelt, sincere, and it was your unique perspective, though many of the reflections are also shared by many women who admired and/or grew up “on” Whitney. There’s a lot to learn from Whitney’s life and passing, but regardless of the opinions, media sensationalism, and the thinly veiled attempts to assign blame for Whitney’s death, we can all agree that this is a human story.
Reblogged this on paintboxtalks.
Beautifully written! Thank you! Also, re: “In disbelief, I watched myself undergo the five stages of grief for someone I had never met and did not know intimately.” I know exactly what you mean. How odd is it that someone we never met or knew intimately could move us so much with her passing? I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” God bless. xoxo, Pola
You write beautifully! Thank you for your thought provoking and compelling post! Well done!!
http://arabianmusings.wordpress.com/
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you.
Great writing, Michelle. I will share this to my group. Personally, I’m not really a big fan of Whitney or any other entertainers. But the story you wrote about what black girls and women have to fight, really touch me.
This is a beautiful tribute to a woman who deserves to be remembered for many things other than her addiction or shortcomings.
Spot on! I was watching the funeral through internet and during it I was listening to her wonderful music!
I will always love you Whitney!
Love from sweden!
I feel THE SAME way. The first part of your post I could have wrote myself; in fact I did write some, on my blog.
Thanks for this post; I may link it.
This is beautiful!
Reblogged this on iRant.
This is beautiful and inspiring.
Beautiful meditation on addiction and loss, thank you. I find some of the comments here shocking, although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.Why do people actually go out of their way to vent their rage and ignorance? Difference of opinion, fine, but it can be expressed civilly. And it’s fine not to express your opinion at all if you can’t express it well.
i still remember …., how beautifuly whitney voices…., it’s seem like gold for me
Extremely well written Michelealexandre. But it is important to remember strength comes from within and not any mentor, celebrity or otherwise. All that matters in this world is having faith in your own differentness.
good job! this is a great article!
Apart from the fact that you wrote a beautiful piece of prose, what has made it heartrendering was how you’ve shared yourself with the world. Whitney was a woman, who before that was a girl, who was let down by the society she lived in. I too share the conviction that addiction is a monster that can grip us all. She had a talent and she could make you FEEL, you’ve mirrored that in your writing so thank you. Your little girl within is allowed to cry, but remember to be proud of keeping on the good fight and of being so in touch with the person inside. All the best, Ana.
Reblogged this on Make Something Every Day and commented:
Citrus drink on a grey day. Great blog post!
Wow! Powerful writing. Your piece is a mirror that we can all see our reflection in. Beyond black/white, man/woman, your writing reveals the truth that we are all human and addiction is a human disease. One that no one likes to talk about. So thank you for talking. It is closeted and those that have it are treated like a pair of dirty socks. We don’t know how to handle it, to deal with it, to heal it, so we ostricize it and those that have it are left out in the cold. We are afraid of it. What makes us most afraid is that it’s something we all have in us – irrationality – that is why it is so uncomfortable to see it in another. We are afraid we might catch it. We think “that could be me”. Sometimes just that thought will pull you out of it, but for some it drags them down deeper. How many of us grew up surrounded by addiction, violence? If so, there’s always a piece of it in us, that lies dormant. It’s in our genes and it’s that struggle to remain rational in an irrational world that drives us to excel when we are lucky enough to escape it. Whitney Houston is iconic; legend. I hope that when the chips fall “that” is what is remembered. That and the fact that she was human, just like the rest of us, after all. And a kick ass woman to boot.
This was a great read!
Reblogged this on Photographess and commented:
Great Blog Post!
Your post is so deeply moving and passionate. You bring tears to my eyes with your words and the sharing of your experiences. I feel sad and sorry that any human no matter their race should have to start fighting at an early age. When will humanity learn to embrace the rainbow.
I was never a fan of Whitney’s music, but I’m a musician so I respect her and her talent. I feel sad that she passed on, and especially the circumstances of her death, drowning in a hotel bathtub from an addiction. I hope she has found liberation from all those things that oppressed her soul.
I loved your story, very heart felt. The only thing that took away from it is making it about black women. Addiction is a disease that knows no color/sex.
Lucas, I think that is the whole point of her post! Yes, addiction is a disease that has an impact on everyone, regardless of race or gender. But her post is about HER…Whitney…and the thousands (maybe millions) of black women who have experienced this. Not all battles are the same. She is telling her story from her (our) perspective.
This is a wonderful post…thank you for sharing! It looks like you posted this a day before I posted my piece about Whitney (check it out here–>http://wp.me/p1cZEZ-wK). I sooo wish WordPress had Freshly Pressed this sooner so I could have known about you earlier and hyperlinked to your post! You so eloquently stated what I could not find the right words to say. You are the voice of many right now. Again, thank you.
The taking of innocence by the vultures is a great moral shame on this country, our culture and our families. Thank you for your hartfelt post. I never realized that so many black young women were trapped in drugs. My prayer is that there will be a great backlash against drugs and healing without judgement for all who suffer from this scourge. Blessings Chap Gleason
This is a very introspectful and powerful post and thank you for being so honest about your experiences and your viewpoints. I hope you realize what a wonderful voice YOU have; and I haven’t read any of your other posts (yet), as I logged on to WordPress to check out my own blog page, saw your title featured and came here out of curiosity. Speaking out as you have is the right thing to do, no matter what the struggles, adversities, or injustices. Admittedly, I’m not a black woman, but I am a woman, and I do understand some of the unjust atmospheres you described, only I’ve had different experiences because my skin color is not black. However as a society of women, we all share some commonalities, no matter our skin color or ethnicity. I believe we’re all interrelated and interconnected, explained not only by scientific discoveries of ancestral human DNA, but I believe we all are also spiritually connected. Whitney was beloved in my heart too, as I was in my early 20’s when she first appeared on the scene. She was part of my culture; I am 48, just as was she. Her sudden death has jolted me too, because there are so many lessons to be learned just from this one case of a celebrity death. Like you, I also don’t put much stock into the goings-on of celebritys’ lives. I have my ordinary life to manage! But, it’s hard not to mourn someone like Whitney who was truly a very special, unique, beautiful, and influential role model and artist. Blessings to you!
This is really well written and touching. I grew up in the 80s and remember loving all of her songs. She had natural talent and will be missed.
[…] Identifying with Whitney in her struggles. (michelealexandre.wordpress.com) Share this:TwitterFacebookPrintEmailLinkedInStumbleUponMoreDiggRedditLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
Reading your article moved me so much that it drove me into tears. Aside from writing it very beautifully and articulately, you have aroused a certain emotion inside me that me relate to every word you’ve written. And thank you as well for sharing your life story. You are a very brave person. Keep on keeping on! And yes, Whitney will be loved by millions of people in the hole world. She’s an emblem of an empowered woman…
*whole world ^^
Great blog! Whitney Houston will definitely be missed! She, just like all of us, was not exempt to the troubles of life. We all battle with different things. I honestly was slightly disappointed in her funeral service though. I thought that considering all of the records she’s broken and sold, it wasn’t the best representation of her. But that’s just my opinion. Thanks for being so transparent and sharing your thoughts with us!
Thank you for your perspective. Whitney’s death hit me hard to, but not fo rthe same reasons it did for you. My heart just aches for her (and after reading your passage) and for all of the girls and women in the same position. I always rooted for Whitney. I never understood how a woman with every gift God could bestow, could ever get so trapped. If she saw her own light, I would think that she would be able to follow it up and rise with it. But isn’t that what we all struggle with? Finding our own greatness and following it as far as we can. RIP Whitney. Your music was an inspiration.
God help us all, avoid the insanity that our world has become.
I am humbled by your insight and clarity. I posted last week about knowing Whitney since her teen years but I couldn’t look at her death from your perspective. You have summed up the feeling of so many. I am reposting this to my facebook page! Well done!
Reblogged this on reinaldobanh and commented:
Thank you…. My hero.
You said it all, AMEN.
Wonderfully written.
I’m agree with you, she is really a great singer
Reblogged this on DeDeRants.
What a great entry? Congrats for being Freshly Pressed. That’s the works of Whitney Houston. Her works can not go without recognised. I thought you might be also interested in visiting my blog. I have written a latest article tilted: Do We Ever Learn? At http://goldenfingers.wordpress.com
This is a beautiful tribute to Whitney Houston. I love it. Thanks for having the guts to lay it all out there, to speak the truth.
I admit I wasn’t Whitney’s biggest fan. Our Mother was the main Whitney fan in the family. However, her passing took a huge toll on me, physically and emotionally. I’ve gone from a bladder infection to a cold within the past few days. I never would have known I would have been impacted and affected in such of a way.
I’m glad you took the time to mention those who want to dismiss her undeniable talent and accomplishments just b/c she fell into the world of substance abuse. We’ve all fallen into something, including these harsh, nasty critics. Personally, I detect some jealousy, and an overdose of hatorade.
Again, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
You have a gift Michele. Your writing is from the Heart and so personally sincere. I am about as far as you can get from a young black woman and the associated issues you speak of, but I just finished writing on twitter that I couldn’t understand why I had so many tears as I watched her funeral yesterday. You have helped me explain this. You don’t have to be black to have empathy and compassion. Thank you for this blog – I read every word.
Well said…right on!
You are a beautiful writer! Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I get caught up in my own world and forget what it might be like to be born into different circumstances. Your post gives me a glimpse into the psyche of my friends and neighbors.
interesting point of view.. and im sure not an uncommon one
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I was also surprised at my own shock and sadness upon hearing of Whitney’s death.
I just want to say that the same things happen to little white girls too. Me and many of my friends also got beaten down. I saw many beautiful, charismatic white girls get trapped by domestic violence, poverty, and addiction. They are just as invisible.
It also happens that white stars are vilified and totally ridiculed for their addictions as well, such as Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, etc.
It is sad, very sad, no matter who it happens to. R.I.P. Whitney.
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Good word! As the mother of 2 boys and 1 girl who are white, middle class and have been raised in a preachers home(prolly the problem!) and I have watched them get thru school without ever taking a drink only to get in their 20’s and become habitual drug users from pot to heroin… I understand the demonic pull from the drug world. It has nearly destroyed their lives thou now the two boys are on the right path, my girl still trying to hide it. I stand in live with dear mother Houston, my prayers are with her, her pain is enormous. I am sure she had braced herself for a long time. Judge not anyone who sees people in these dire straits, they don’t want to be there no matter if they don’t admit it.. My kids had to get to the end of themselves and still getting there. Bless Whitney and I know Gods grace was sufficient for her.
The absolute nonsense people spew about drug addiction never ceases to leave me dumbfounded. It’s a disease. It’s a deadly disease if not treated and one of the hardest to treat. No, no one forced her to do drugs. However, she was throw into the limelight and had people everywhere breathing down her neck. “The pressure was ON!” has not been truer for many people. The stresses that celebrities face are far more than any of us “regular people” will ever face. When people are not capable of coping in any other way, they turn to drugs. It happens. One can also grow up with a genetic predisposition to addiction.
FTR, I have never, EVER been on drugs myself. However, I have family members who suffer. They are wonderful, wonderful people and just have a disease. They didn’t just fail themselves, society also failed them. The stigma attached to drug addiction keeps those who suffer from speaking out and getting help.
Also, to the douchebags spewing your hate about “selfish” drug addicts… I can guarantee that one of your loved ones is probably suffering from some sort of addiction that you are merely unaware of, so STFU.
Thank you. I know how you feel.
Fame via a post
Any honest writing (Michele), or song sung deserves fame. But that same fame can kill, too early. Sharing your gift can kill, you. When you give your gold, others, goldless, want it. As they should. Shine. The human eye sees talent and wants a piece of it. Or another definition of Hollywood.
I’m a gay (I guess) white male whose had an easy life in Vancouver Canada. When I read your blog Michele I was arrogantly looking for writerly things. You were posting with livingly things. You weren’t trying to write succinct. It just came out that way because. Perhaps Whitney’s death draws thinking writers, or people, together, or at least lets them meet.
If Whitney wasn’t slim, beautiful and elegant would she have been a star? I mean the same voice out of a less attractive woman, white or black, would it have had the same power?
Mixing worlds. Black with white. Sobriety with drunkenness (I’m drinking now). Day with night. Fear with Confidence. Cold with hot (I swim in a cold North Pacific daily). Question with answer. Writer with reader. I love writing!
I can somehow type very clearly when I’m utterly pissed
Remember The Hits and Forget The Misses:
How many women do we know have taken it this far? There is only one woman – Whitney Houston who with her incredible five octave vocal range paved the way for women in music history
– More than 170 million albums, singles, and records sold
– A record of 7 consecutive No 1 Billboard Hits
– 6 time Grammy winner
– I Will Always Love You became the best selling US single of all time
– 7 consecutive multi-platinum albums
– Spot in the Guinness Book of World Records as music’s most awarded female artist of all time
– The Bodyguard grossed more than $400 million and spawn the top-selling soundtrack of all time with more than 32 million copies sold
– Scored a 10 million paycheck for 1996 The Preacher’s Wife
“We were all aware of her challenges and I was always rooting for her. Let us applaud and remember Whitney for the beautiful, giving, and caring young lady and talented artist that she was, the great music, and performances. Remember the hits forget the misses. A true superstar has gone on, flown away on the wings of love. Keep her family in your prayers.” – Aunt Ree – Aretha Franklin
A woman I just met gave me a copy of People Magazine with Whitney on the cover last Friday. I wondered why she had given it to me. After reading it today Aretha answered that question for me, “Remember the hits and forget the misses.”
BEAUTIFULLY said, Michele! And you are right! All little boys & girls should get to feel cherished & should actually be cherished by one or more people.
Reblogged this on francesscott and commented:
This was so well-written & well explained!
Awesome i Really like it………Superb article
Powerful and personal. Thanks for sharing this with us
except for 2 things: Houston didn’t have sass – she was downright rude and full of herself (“show me the receipts” in response to her $750,000 drug addiction….rrreally?) And how could anyone see her as a poor little black girl who had to grow up too fast? Are you aware of her ancestry? Her life in the wings watching her glamorous mother perform, knowing she was also on the road to possible stardom? How can you possibly see yourself in that image? Well, you gotta dream, babe….you gotta dream….
idol.
Reblogged this on DICKSON NYAMONGO SOKORO and commented:
Nice piece, you need to check it out
I live in the present moment and enjoy it to the fullest.
Addiction is merely the Wild trying to get out
I got what you specify, thanks for up. Woh I am cheerful to judge this website through google.
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A wonderful and concise post of what it is like to be a girl and woman. We should not be categorizing ourselves by our skin colour, don’t we have enough problems without creating more for ourselves? Black women aren’t the only ones who fight every step of the way to be seen and heard. What about Nujood, the 10 year old in Yemen who ran away to a courthouse and demanded a divorce? Or Jassi, a woman from Canada whose family was from India and killed her for falling in love and marrying a man they labelled as “lower class”? Or my roommate’s great aunt, the first woman in her ittiy bitty little white town to get a divorce, work as a nurse to support herself and her children because she wasn’t going to put up with him just to keep up appearances?
Cassie Bernall, 17, white, shot to death in Columbine High School massacre because she answered “Yes, I believe in God”.
Leslie Kelly, 26, white, stabbed to death, saving her husband and 2 children from the same fate at a birthday party.
Firdaus, Egyptian, a madam who was killed by a man because she made too much money and would not accept him as a pimp. The police did nothing.
Menake, Sri Lanka Tamil Tiger suicide bomber, caught before she could carry out her “mission”, a victim of sexual abuse and abandonement her whole life.
Afghan women face a 20% mortality rate every time they give birth.
So you see, it’s all of us.
May she rest in peace. She was a great singer!
RIP Whitney
So tragic… Rest in Peace.
I clicked on your post because I too have been deeply struck by Whitney’s passing. I’ve been surprised by the lingering sadness I’ve felt over the past 9 days – a sense that something is just not right.
There is much to grieve.
Yes, an incredible talent is gone. Yet, as you so well pointed out, so is a beautiful woman, mother, daughter, friend. Thanks for this post; you helped put words to the invisible emotions a lot of us are feeling.
Everyone has to fight, i’m not sure what being black has to do with it. Is your fight really that much harder than everyone else’s? Really? In 2012? Doubt it. It’s kind of a bad attitude to have, especially when you make it about race. You’re perpetuating racism that way. It’s all in how you see things, especially nowadays. Other people’s shitty attitudes towards your race should have no bearing on how you live your life. Their attitudes are none of your business, it’s all in how you see yourself.
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RIP
This was a very beautiful post. Although I wasn’t sure why people were acting as though Whitney was a president or world leader who’d died, I feel for what she went through. She was a victim; she can’t really be blamed for what happened to her.
Interesting post. I’m kind of against crying for a particular celebrity, and also wrote a ‘Whitney’ piece – only kind of opposite to yours 🙂 You do point out some very inspirational facts though. Perhaps I should reconsider?
Although I appreciate your narrative of the scary world of drug dealers, I’m afraid that the Whitney-addiction saga has a much more obscure, much more worrying and sinister side. Like the Jackson-tragedy, the true culprit in the case of Whitney’s untimely demise is PRESCRIPTION DRUGS. We take our medicines for granted and think that the Pharmaceutical Industry has a net-positive effect on our health despite the mistakes. However, figures show that the 3rd ranking health related cause of death in the US is prescription drugs, after heart-disease and cancer. In other words: MEDICINE is more likely to kill you than any other disease apart from heart-disease and cancer. What is the cure for that?
Addiction is the Wild, or you, trying to get out. It has nothing to do with dependence. It is independence, skewed. It must be listened to, respected.
Honest explanation of the outpouring of grief that many have felt. Nicely done.
Superior!
You know what? This is actually true 🙂 Sometimes, people are just confused about this …But I’m glad that people like you make it easy for them 🙂 Cheers to this !!
Addiction is dis-ease: in other words anything that uneases us, shocks us out of complacency is a damn good thing
I am a white woman. Whitney called me a Sister. She did not see color. She was proud of her ancestry and did not use her childhood as an excuse for her drug abuse. Her family is music royalty, and while she had money, priviledge and connections growing up, it was her Gift from God which propelled her to the top…and she acknowledged that Gift on numerous occasions.
I’ve grieved Whitney’s passing for several days now…I greive because she became a little girl lost in a man’s world…her man’s world. She, like many of us…black, brown, red, yellow, white…sought to fit in with the male influence of our life…and it took over her life. She didn’t blame him. But history shows where the downward spiral began….just has it has with many other gifted and talented women….with a selfish man. Whitney didn’t blame him. But I do. He saw her weakness, her desire to please him, and he took advantage of her.
Whitney wasn’t about color. She was about the person.
May my Sister rest in peace.
Danita
I thought what you wrote was beautifully honest & it hit a nerve with me. Thanks for sharing this.
What a beautifully written, touching and thought provoking post. Thank you.
Thank you for the awesome tribute to Whitney and comforting words for anyone suffering from or impacted by addiction. My younger brother is a crack addict, who is only two years younger than Whitney, and I pray every day he’ll finally win the battle and get sober. Assuming drugs caused Whitney’s death, I’m all the more saddened that such a beautiful voice and spirit were silenced in the wake of her struggle to conquer drugs.
Though I, like you, am not one to obsess over celebrities or feel any great bond with famous I’ve never met, I was also surprised to find myself tearing up the moment I heard about her passing on Sunday. And I continued to get emotional over the last week whenever she was mentioned on the news, and particularly during her funeral. I was greatly moved by every single word and every song, especially when Kevin Costner said something about how she’s in heaven and was definitely “good enough”…at which point, I started bawling. It’s difficult to imagine anyone as strikingly beautiful and accomplished ever thinking she wasn’t “good enough” at anything…and then when they played “I will always love you” at the end of the service….I sobbed again knowing the world will never hear her sing again.
To sum up my thoughts about her, the one image I will never forget was during an MTV Award show about a year ago (maybe two, not sure), and all the women had on these weird outfits. Seems like Rhianna was dressed like a robot, and Fergie also had on a rather cosmic, unfeminine dress of some sort. But, then, there was Whitney in an absolutely gorgeous long, white gown. Call me old-fashioned, but she was absolutely stunning, and I loved the fact that she hadn’t felt the need to follow the crowd by wearing some outer space get-up. But then again, Whitney defined elegance like no other.
While it may seem weird that a white woman who grew up in a middle class family in the south would write 300+ words about a black woman she’s never met, I think Whitney deserves the credit for that, because she truly was “every woman”. And she touched the hearts of many black, white, Asian, Hispanic, etc., people. An incredible light/soul gone has crossed over way too soon. May she rest in peace and entertain the heavens with her angelic voice forever.
Whitney is laffing at us
You know what dude? You need to shut up. You certainly are puking verbal diarrhea. And yes, it is medically possible to vomit feces. It’s horrible for the person so sick that this happens and it’s basically tar.
You’re angry. Get over it
Having just read your post I can see that your world is very black and white . Addictions comes in many colors and it is a disease that the whole family suffers from . I have empathy for her family for their lost but I would like to put this food of thought out there :
Whitney Houston had the means and voice that could of help so many lost in addictions or a destructive lifestyle inspite of their color or station in life .
I am a recovering addict/alcoholic with eighteen years of long , hard and painful at times recovery . Some of my sister’s in recovery are living on the streets of my town , eating at soup kitchen’s , just getting by but they are clean and sober . It would have pleased me better if they had made the front page of ever newspaper as Whitney , Amy , or any other celeberty that makes the front page .
I suggest that you read some factual literature on addictions and maybe go out in your neighbourhood or your downtown side . Extent a hand to those who are dying just to have one opportunity that ” Whitney ” had . Our literature says that we are responsible to reach out when another hand is extented in search of recovery ..
The positive about any topic/food for thought blog is that it makes us think outside the box if we are open-minded and will to be part of the solution instead of the problem
I’m going to print this and give it to the girls at the teen center I work for. I love that you say Whitney helped you just be still in some moments. Thank you so much for this. It was truly inspiring.
This has been a vivid and heavily debated issue on Facebook ever since Whitney passed… Fans and Haters. So even as I logged in to do work on a deadline I was compelled to read your fresh press… and moved to tears myself. Yours is the voice of many, and I will share it with my friends on Facebook who are so far removed from this world that they just don’t get it. I hope this will help them experience some growth. Very powerful!!
Thanks Michele for helping me come to terms about my own inexplicable sadness and grief at Whitney’s passing. You wrote the words that danced in my hearts and brought coherence and clarity to this void and anguish at someone I never ever met.
I have felt the passing of many celebrities that I admired in the past but often in a remote, uninvolved and distant way; Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, Heath Ledger…..but Ms Houston’s death was like the death of family I never met, a close friend I never connected with, a long lost sister…..It is as if a piece of me-my youth, my womanhood, my dreams, are gone too.
I have cried so many times since her passing…suddenly, unexpectedly, without reason! first in shock, then in mourning and yet again this morning in celebration and triumph! I’ve had a hard time processing her death and an even harder time trying to understand this feeling of chasm and loss, sense of emptiness and numbness. Your post brings it all together beautifully and I am grateful for your courage, first to feel deeply and then to share without holding back. In life, she was all of us: our triumphs and peaks of beauty, our valleys and gutters of shame. And in death she’s brought us back together to ponder our sisterhood, our strengths and the will to fight the vultures and scavengers all around us. RIP Nippy!
Juliet
[…] ran across a post, recommended by WordPress.com about Whitney and her recent death. What caught my eye was the […]
[…] were a few things in it that bothered me. First of all, the post turned into a – as comment #9835 put it “Typical feminine victim nonsense.” As well as defending addicts by calling […]
Such a beautiful summary of emotions. Thank you for providing a place for this communal grieving process. It has helped me as well as so many others.
Enjoyed your blog… well done. You might want to check out my blog about this beautiful songbird from God, gone too soon. http://jlockjock.wordpress.com
Thank you for writing this post and making me look at addictions differently. Whitney is gone, and we grieve at her passing, but millions of others can still be saved from this horrible disease. Thank you.
Reblogged this on mnlchocolate.
I am not a black girl yet Whitney has been apart of my life since her music began to be shared globally. I too felt the sadness and grief as you and many described and found tears come sitting through the sharing and song at her celebration of life. It was an open door into meeting her family and friends, their connections and meaning in her life. I wondered why I was finding myself in a shocked grief through the week finally opening to tears through the aired sharing of her funeral. What I realized is what was so deeply affecting and creating the grief was the pain of relationships and of addiction. The hidden needs behind it, the life it creates and how it is the story of so many. What is adding to the discomfort is the fascination of the media and their perspectives from all angles in every aspect of her life and death and yes – fortune and predictions about her daughter. Her daughter has had a difficult life growing up with additions and facing them herself. May she find a different path.
Although I dont have much to relate to in this post, surprisingly, it caught me off guard and touched me. Nice writing!
wow. nice post.
p.s congratz on getting freshly pressed on you first post
Great post. While I didn’t have such a personal reaction to the news of her death, I do agree with you that girls (of all races) struggle silently with all kinds of challenges everyday and in an effort to appear strong, we internalize the idea that this is just the way it has to be. Even now, as an adult, I feel weak if I don’t know exactly what my own little girl needs at any given moment, but I am too afraid to talk to anyone about these feelings because of the judgement I believe will fall upon me if I do so.
Very well written and goes to the core of every sister- black or white
Such a timely post! Thank you for speaking up and speaking out; such an important issue. Congrats on getting freshly pressed, but mostly, thank you for posting this.
This is beautiful and sums up how we all felt. Whew I thought I took her death hard (ugly cry, snotty nose, shaking legs) I see I’m not the only one. Thanks for sharing and when you get a chance check out my post about Whitney. Stay Blessed
Shaka
My sister, I hear you loudly and feel you deep down inside. Both the vultures and our songbird Whitney,has moved on. May the tears that we all shed water seeds of sensitivity so that people with addictions can be “treated” differently.
LOVED this. Even though there is very little demographically speaking that I can identify with in Whitney, her death meant something to me as well. Check you my thoughts on Whitney’s death if you have a chance: http://myjoyfortoday.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/i-didnt-know-my-own-strength/
[…] ran across a post, recommended by WordPress.com about Whitney and her recent death. What caught my eye was the […]
Reblogged this on Musings of An African Woman and commented:
Someone else said it. I think when I finally get the words, it’ll be too late to write.
[…] 16th, 2012 blogpost @ Michelle Alexandre ~~Just Another WordPress Site~~, that I read today, A Piece of Us: To Whitney and All the Millions of Invisible Black Girls and Women Who Struggle With …, could easily have been entitled, To All of Us Who Fight to Live and Think We Can Only Succeed […]
Thank you for sharing this insightful, vivid, and captivating post on what it means to millions of women out there to be mourning over an icon who still lives in our hearts. I found myself re-listening to her music that has helped me over heartache (Exhale), and the strangeness of listening to her song Your Love is My Love (hope I got that title right).
Above all, I have always held empathy for the struggles that the black community faces since colonialism (my studies in Social Cultural Anthropology) and how much we owe to those who were forced off their agricultural lands to cultivate ours at the cost of their livelihood, fortune and well-being.
You are an incredible woman for expressing your gratitude for not only an icon, but for someone who, like all of us, simply does the best with the talent she is given while being human at it.
May she rest in peace. Ameen.
[…] A mourner (and brand-new blogger who was Freshly Pressed on her first go) writes about how Whitney Houston’s successes and struggles mirrored what she sees in black girls and women everywhere. […]
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